Ye jo des hai mera

We have all heard the story of the NASA scientist who comes to India, builds a hydroelectric power plant in a remote village, only to find himself in love with the country where he was born in. A lot of Undergraduates from all across India face a similar dilemma. Whether to go abroad and study or to stay home. Whether to abandon your parents and your country or whether to stay and regret having missed out on a huge opportunity in life. There are so many anecdote of people on all the sides of the aisle. There have been people who have stayed and not contributed to this country’s development and there have been people who have gone out and sent huge chunks of money back home to help build roads and hospitals, it becomes extremely hard to predict what an individual facing this dilemma might do later. Much like a driver stuck on a one way road, where the only way is forward, so are we humans stuck in time. Past can only help us identify trends but can never accurately predict what a single individual will do. Hence, it becomes punitive to say that the person has betrayed the country just by the act of her going abroad. 

I was faced with a very similar dilemma in my not so distant past, which made me question the values and beliefs that I grew up with. Our Indian culture is so vast that I had to google search “Indian values and culture”. I had no idea what Indian values and culture is and how it is different from the “West”. I grew up in a small urban city in central india and now am studying in one of the biggest cities in the world, the differences albeit apparent do not seem huge, hence I realized that my past was not a good indicator of “traditional Indian values and culture”. No one explicitly taught me what it meant to be an Indian, or what is the definition of a “good Indian” hence I had to make up a definition of my own and my quest for finding this definition has been an eye opener. 

What we traditionally believed to be our core culture and values, are now under threat. We pat ourselves on the back that Indians are very loyal to our families and family is one the strongest reason for emotional and social well-being, however the family as a unit has been breaking further and further, from a large giant joint family, to extended families, to nuclear families to parents living miles apart to complete their studies or jobs; including my own parents who lived apart so that I could finish my Class 12^th. We championed our culture of respecting and taking care of the elderly, but the recent rise in the number of nursing homes points to the contrary. A quick journey to a free of cost old age home in Delhi would have you questioning your tradition. In his book “Being Mortal” Atul Gawande graphically describes the insides of a charitable old age home and how his staff cried after visiting the same. We felt proud by the statistic that India has one of the least divorce rates in the entire world and that only 18 of every 100 marriages end up in divorce(1), but the state with the highest number of educated people (Kerala) also has the maximum number of divorce cases(2). Some might say that the low divorce rates is a proof that family as a unit is still strong in the country, whereas some feminists may rightly argue that it is an indicator for Women inequality as most of the divorces are initiated by women. 

Then what does it mean to be an Indian, are my parents not Indian because they lived apart and not in a family? Are Indian Criminals not Indian? Or people who end up getting divorced not Indian? And ultimately are people like Satya Nadella who go abroad not Indian? What does it exactly mean to be an Indian following Indian culture? The Indian government on it’s get to know India website boasts about the varied culture but doesn’t pinpoint any one particular trait that defines you as an Indian, even they are uncertain what it should entail(3). In this cocktail of cultures, is there something we all can call our own? Something to unify us. Are we united despite being diverse or being united allows us to be diverse? 

Our culture and our beliefs are continuously evolving with time, old age homes became possible only because of advances in medicine which increased the life expectancy from mid 30s to 68 and elderly people were no longer a scarcity to be cherished, divorces were possible because women were allowed to read and work, Indians could migrate freely because of flying cars. Who knows what the future holds and how we would have to evolve to adapt? In this ever changing world are there some constants that will stand the test of time? 

When I did find the answers to the last question it gave me a glimmer of hope. The Indian Flag and what it stands for, The national anthem, the national emblem will not change in spite of our political scenario. But even more fundamental to India’s existence is it’s belief in a Robust constitution, Universal Adult franchise, Flexible federal structure and a secular Indian policies that we have learnt through the hardships of our freedom fighters. Past, whether we like it or not is the one culture all Indians have in common and a hope for a better future individualistically and collectively is what drives us to wake up every morning. 

References

1.            Divorce demography. In: Wikipedia [Internet]. 2019 [cited 2019 May 12]. Available from: https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Divorce_demography&oldid=895874227

2.            Kerala Has Highest Number of Divorces, Five Cases Every Hour [Internet]. The Quint. 2016 [cited 2019 May 12]. Available from: https://www.thequint.com/india/2016/06/23/kerala-has-highest-number-of-divorces-five-cases-every-hour

3.            Culture And Heritage - Lifestyle Values And Beliefs - Know India: National Portal of India [Internet]. [cited 2019 May 12]. Available from: https://knowindia.gov.in/culture-and-heritage/lifestyle-values-and-beliefs.php